Quick Quick Slooooow

The baby and the time is moving quickly by. Last weekend we spent mostly (after Cesar got done with work on Saturday) with a couple from the church. We spent the night at their house, went to a birthday party at another family’s house (they live less than a block away), went swimming in their neighborhood pool, lounged, relaxed and went to church with them.

This week started off quickly and I thought I’d be able to keep fairly busy. Then Tuesday I had some major pain and ended up in bed all day (It was head and shoulders—nothing to worry about with baby). One of my friends who is a massage therapist came over later that night and “healed” me—she’s got miracle-working hands. It was wonderful.

The weather has been super duper hot and I worry about Cesar drinking enough water. We went out and bought a large cooler for him to keep the boxes of bottled water we buy in and he seems to be doing alright. Wednesday, though, he called and asked me to come get him right as I was getting off work. I guess he started to feel his heart beating out of control and his skin pulsing, so he sat down and drank water and stopped work then (around 5:00). He was soon better and that night was back to normal again. He’s talked to the contractor he does most of his work for and they’ve decided between the both of them that Saturdays would only be worked if they only had a little bit left to finish a house. Cesar also said that as soon as he can find someone to take on more of the driving, he’d leave the site to be home with me at a more reasonable time. It has been rough feeling so alone and such, but even if this doesn’t happen exactly as the plan goes, I’m glad that he thinks of me.

Yesterday a massage place in town had a girls’ night, so Isabella and I went. They had food (yuummmm), some little shop things (like Mary Kay, jewelry, purses, Tupperware, chalk boards). They also had door prizes and at the end when a lot of people left, they were just telling people to pick stuff. Isabella won a free hour massage and I picked a digital photo keychain for Cesar (which I put the pictures on today from my work comp because it’s not Mac compatible and I haven’t figured out how to hook my PC to switch to and from my Mac and PC).

I’m not quite sure what this weekend holds. I have a friend that may possibly be coming down from Chicago, and I’d like to see him if he does. Cesar was talking with the Pastor and his family about going to an amusement park around the area, which does not sound like much fun to me (since I can’t do anything), but we’ll see. And some other thoughts have come up in Cesar’s conversation. As I said, we’ll see.  Until then, much love to y’all!

Check out my pregnancy webpage (even though there’s nothing too exciting on it) below;

http://www.thecradle.com/web/babysousa/webpage

Story of a Storm

I thought you might appreciate a good story update, and considering I have a most recent adventure, here it comes. We’ll see if I can finish it before a Tornado warning comes in. So we’ve been seeing this morning that the weather was going to be an issue, but little did I know the adventurous situation it would put me in. I went to lunch after the last update, and on the way back it just started to pour tremendously. When I parked, I thought I’d wait about 10-15 minutes for it to settle. Then it started to hail, some pieces about the size of a golf ball. I’d never been outside in that kind of weather, so I was thinking, “What do you do when you’re surrounded by windows and hail is pelting from every direction? I really felt like they would come through the window! So I was trying to evaluate what to do, and the hail stopped (after intense prayers and heart pounding—call me a chicken, but I did not want glass flying at me). So I decided to brave the rain. Well, needless to say, I got completely soaked through, and when I walked in the door everyone was around me asking questions and saying all these things I should have done. All I knew is an umbrella wasn’t about to make a difference. The winds were so strong that I’d already seen one just blow through. And I wanted to get inside in case of more serious warnings. One lady from the General Superintendent’s office mentioned they had a blow drier, so I went to the bathroom and dried my hair. Another lady had dry socks she let me use. I keep a fleece shawl behind my desk for cold days, so I got semi-dry and warm and called Cesar to get some dry pants. I may only use them for a few hours, but they’re better than itchy damp ones.  And so was the worst thunderstorm I’ve been through (without tornados).

Asking for Wisdom

It’s been a very long time since I’ve written in here, I know, but the further I am along, the more I see the need to 1—keep you all well-updated, and 2—keep a journal of what is going on to look back on.

The latest update is fairly simple, I suppose. Pregnancy is not so hard this trimester. I’m tired a lot and still feel like I need to get more sleep, but Cesar has been taking wonderfully to where I may not feel up to doing some things, I’m sleeping at odd times and not necessarily keeping up with other things. He’s working quite a bit, but has been very helpful and actually has a list of things he’s convinced I can’t do as far as cleaning around the house (and that I’m more than happy not to do. Hehe). For those who’ve not heard, last Thursday we found out that we’re having a girl. Her name will be Audrey Bella Drake DeSousa. The last two names are the Brazilian naming way of doing things. Audrey is because I love the name and I really like Audrey Hepburn. Cesar and I both like the name Bella, and it’s easier for the Brazilian community to say. He alternates calling her Audrey and Bella, and I just call her Audrey.

Like I said, I’m feeling pretty well, though. Hungry in tired is the most common description, and I don’t mind being either. I am kind of sad that a lot of people are leaving town and I almost feel like I myself am moving in that I’ve kind of got to find a new community. That’s fine, and I do still have friends around, but now that I’m living where I am, I’m not as close to the seminary community (distance wise). So I’m connecting and reconnecting, or at least working on it. We actually have moved to a smaller apartment, which means less and lower bills, and also less work. It’s a lot more relaxing to live here, even though the creditors are still out there. At least now, if something’s broken, they’ll send someone out the next day to fix it. And I only have to keep up the inside of the apartment, and there’s less of it to keep up. Adding to the great things of living in this small apartment is that it has a fireplace, we do have two bedrooms (so there’s enough space), there are two pools, a workout center, a sauna (though I can’t use that right now, of course), tennis courts, parks across the street, and the area is terrific. So it’s really good and we really like it. It’s a nice place to start out. Cesar still has hopes of when we come back buying a house, and I’m not against that other than the work involved. I’m sure there’s a compromise, but that’s a long way away anyway. Life is going to change enough for us in the next 5 years that it’d be nice when/if we can plan, but flexibility is going to keep us going strong.

We’re also constantly thinking and rethinking our plans for finances when we leave the country. Ideally, the business would continue and we could keep paying bills. I know there are deferment options on payments, but I’d prefer to come back less in debt as opposed to coming back and starting a new life with the old debt. Haha. So we’re saving as much as we can, paying as much as we can and planning for the baby as well. An interesting combo, I know, but so far so good. And I’m enjoying making up a registry (most of which is at Target for now, as Babies’R’Us is not as internet friendly, but I’ll be hopefully going to the store soon to build up that one as well), praying a lot, trusting God to lead us not only in the future, but also now. Our church is far away and there are less and less people. It also runs kind of late at night for me, seeing as I need more sleep now and am working fulltime, so we’re talking about going back to a Naz church in the mornings and going to the Brazilian church when we can. We’re very attached to the people at the Brazilian church—they’re like our family. But the distance and times and life for us is making it difficult to continue there.

Really, I guess right now I’m asking for your wisdom. We’re going out of country next year. We’re trying to save money. We’re new parents, and still newlyweds. Some people leave it to figure things out as you go, but if you have any ideas, insights, wisdom, I hope that you’ll share that with us. I’ve been reading a lot of marriage books lately, but should probably start looking at some parenting things. I just hope that we can bring this child into a stable and loving family, while teaching her to explore and not fear adventure. Travel is a good thing for a child, of this I’m certain. But both Cesar and I could use and hope to utilize the wisdom and ideas of those we love and respect (you all).

Regarding the last Post

The title’s a nice hook to get those who didn’t read the last post to read it, right? In any case, thank you to many of you for your encouragement and congrats. I am once again waiting on the field of medicine to determine what happens next. I have not spent a full day at work for about a week and a half. The two times I went to work, I didn’t make it to lunch without both throwing up uncontrollably, getting almost motion sick and dizzy, and every time I leave the house (including today’s short excursion to the chiropractor) I have an emotional breakdown. Until I’m sure I’m going back to work, I’m not taking the antidepressants given to me for just that purpose. I’m not depressed and I don’t need them if I’m free to cry and act emotional whenever I want. Haha. I am, however, now getting nausea worse than before and just got some anti-nausea meds today. 

As to my comment about not being sure about whether I go back to work or not, I had a talk with some people at work and with my doctor’s nurse and the thought is that perhaps it would better for both me (and to be honest probably also the professionalism of my job) if I went on short term disability until I get past this rough trimester (and hopefully that’s the end of it all). I’m going to miss work, believe it or not, but for those questioning me right now, this may be hard for me and I may have a tighter budget, but I’m still earning money and I feel like this is the best and safest decision for my baby. I never want to risk anything with such a fragile life. I’ve learned that. 

So, any ideas from people in similar situations on keeping a healthy socially (meaning the tie to me being a social person and my “health”) safe environment? Keys– Having social interaction  –being in a safe environment for come what may — doing what’s right and keeping rested

Jumping Out of My Skin

Well, for those who haven’t talked to me recently, I obviously haven’t blogged here in a while. I have one bit of good news that I thought I’d share before I get out what I just need to get out there somehow. I’m pregnant! Yay! 

Which leads me to where I am now– at home. Everyone is telling me I’m normal and, believe me, I’m grateful to have pregnancy symptoms and know I have a living baby inside there. But I don’t feel normal at all. I don’t even want to be sitting in this chair right now. I want to tip over and lay on the floor right where I am. My nerves, however, are jumping out of my skin and I’m between puking and pooping all day long. I cry at the drop of a hat for no reason at all whether it’s because no one around here can find me a stromboli or because Cesar thinks his wife is psycho emotional (and she is). I don’t want to work. I don’t want to leave the house. I don’t even want to leave my couch except to get the food out of my body whichever way it deems most urgent at the moment. We’re talking about me, here! I’m the one who broke my nose twice, and both times continued playing soccer/basketball! I worked 14+ hours a day before and didn’t bat an eye. I almost never missed out on work or any other commitments for that matter. So what is so normal about me being so completely stricken to a couch/ bed without wanting to leave it for any reason whatsoever. I know pregnancy is rough and pregnant women work all the time… so did I! I’ve been pregnant before. But I feel completely knocked off my feet and like there’s no way back up until something changes. But everyone tells me I’m normal. How am I supposed to keep a job and keep myself and my baby? I’ve tried to be optimistic and confident, but every day that I feel worse, I don’t know how to face an active world right now, as much as I really do miss that world.

Do You Speak Brazilian?

This weekend has been filled with fun and happiness. It’s somewhere around the equivalent of college times and General Assembly. We had our General Board meetings, which meant lots of fun people were in from all over the world. Friday night we had Tony (Cape Verde, works with me), Simone (Brazil/Argentina, went to college with me and in my wedding), Diego (Brazil, translator and met for the 2^nd time here), Pastor Haroldo (Brazil), Pastor Amadeu (Brazil) and his wife who’s name is complicated enough that it’s going to take some repetition to remember is—they were all at my house. I made a huge dinner (I had no idea how large until I put everything on the table and started eating the stuff). It was wonderful conversation and I believe it was truly relationship-building.

The next day I took a nice, long afternoon nap. Then, around 6-ish Cesar and I went to pick up Simone and we then went to meet up with Pastor Flavio (Brazil) and Diego. We went to about 3 different restaurants before finally deciding to just eat a Pei Wei’s (it had less wait—the others were all at least an hour’s wait). We sat and talked for a long time and it was wonderful conversation. We laughed so much (and so freely). It seriously felt like a liberating weekend internally J It was wonderful. After dinner Simone and I went to see Christina and The Pesado ladies and had some talk as girls while the guys all went to see a movie.

Sunday we got up early and had breakfast with a couple from our church who are kind of around our parents’ age-ish (maybe a bit older actually, especially older than my parents). They made breakfast and we talked and watched TV. Then we all ate lunch and were all basically together until church Sunday night.

Last night was another fun night. Yes, it was one more day at work, but after that was the missionary sending service. We had the service and before and after I got to talk with some of the people I’d gotten to know over the weekend. Pastor Amadeu and his wife then had me up to their room with Simone as Pr. Amadeu gave me some coffee he’d brought from Brazil and his wife lent me her bathing suit to swim with Simone. The two of them told them they’d like to help Cesar get his ministerial education and, to do that, would help us find a place to stay and everything. We exchanged contact information, prayed, and said goodbye and Simone and I went to swim. Diego came down a little later and we chatted some before we all exchanged contact information and said our goodbyes.

This is a very condensed version of this weekend, but know that it was absolutely wonderful—my kind of weekend. I wish I could have more like it. I love and miss you all and hope that soon we can meet and have some fun

Snow and Sunny Days

These days have been crazy and busy but good. Yesterday we had rain, snow and 40-50 degree sunshine in one day. Talk about loco! I’ve been getting some neat projects at work and there are lots of fun people in for conferences from around the world. I’ve used my Portuguese yet again, this time to give a tour to a couple who are missionaries in the state Amazonas. Really fun stuff. Last night Cesar came home with a Mac computer as a Valentine’s gift. It’s very fun. I’m keeping my PC for non-creative internet stuff and because I’m sentimental. It’s a good, long-lasting computer! Today was a crazy busy day too. I’m a bit sick, sinuses are bleeheeehhee. But we found this voice recognition software that’s great for transcribing! I can listen and go at the same time and get the transcribing done in about half the time (I think). We’re at least hoping this is true for General Assembly (even though I’m still sad sad sad about not being able to go). It does all sort of fun stuff. It’s been a happy exciting fun day regardless of being sick and being at work. Now I get to play with my new toys!

Chicken Soup and the South

Yesterday was fairly uneventful. Since stocking up on a variety of things at Costco, I’m trying to think of ways to be creative. Today I was offered a crockpot, so I think maybe I’ll try some crockpot recipes and see how good I am with those. Chicken noodle soup sounds good. I wonder if that’s do-able. Mmmmm. Tonight is workout night with Isabella. I actually don’t dread working out! Wow! Craziness. Some drama at work that I’m not supposed to expand on, not that I know anything to expand on. I’m, in many ways, looking forward to Brazil. The documents to turn in to the lawyer should get here sometime this week or next from Brazil. We’re chugging along! J Much love

Spring in February

I woke up the on Friday and smelled the fresh spring-like air. I had to keep telling myself it’s February because it certainly did smell like the first spring rain. After work I went and decided to get my hair cut. Friday night we went to a birthday party. The pastor’s son of the Brazilian Assembly of God church was celebrating his 18^th bday and it was quite a big event.

The next day was a great and beautiful Saturday. Cesar and I woke up a little earlier than I would normally like to pick up and fix the trailer that he’d left behind the day before after the tire popped. From there we went to borrow Isabella’s Costco card and we tried Costco for the first time. I love Costco! Good stuff. Seriously. There, of course, are still things we’ll get at Wal-mart (I am aware they are part of the rival chain, but where you shop is not about loyalty), but I think a majority of our shopping will change as we plan on getting a Costco business card. Cesar found things he used on a regular basis for at least half the price he paid for them. Then Cesar dropped me off at Isabella’s and Isabella and I went on our Saturday run/walk. The second time around still left us a little sore, but not quite like last time, so I imagine we’ll building on and running more, walking less each week. No shin splints this week. Tighter muscles, but not sore. Feeling good. So then Cesar and I, tired from the day and the week spent the rest of the evening at home. He watched Fireproof in Spanish. I can’t stand watching a movie that’s dubbed (I prefer subtitles if I’m watching international movies), so I went and watched In the Valley of Elah. Not a bad movie, not a good one either. I think Tommy Lee is trying to make the point with the movies he’s doing that things just aren’t what they used to be. I say it’s not all that bad really. Horror has existed through the generations.

So has amazingly cute things like my niece saying “Peace out” and “What’s up dog?” Soooooo cute. I’d like to think that nothing so cute has ever existed. Haha. Sunday we got up and made breakfast. Things seem to taste better to me when I know we have enough food to go around. That’s why I love(d) Costco! Hehe. And we pretty much bummed around until Sunday night at church.

Sunday night at church, I had the kids watching one of the parts of the Nooma series called “Dust.” We talked quite a bit about it because, of course, the DVD, while short, was made for an older age group. They did pretty well, though. I think the majority of the kids I’m blessed to teach enjoy learning in some aspect (depending on the day, of course. They are 10 years and younger). I liked my haircut when the lady styled it, but after washing it and with my style, it looked a little 70s/80s. I knew it could look better, but didn’t know how to get it there, so I wore it in a ponytail as usual. Isabella noticed and said she’d straighten it for me to where to work tomorrow. She taught me some things to do to style it. Now all I need is a good straightener like hers. Hmm.

Well, the day is almost done and just beginning. I’m going now to cook something creative with the food that I now have. And I need to remember to search high and low for my social and my birth certificate. I know they’re somewhere safe…. I just can’t remember which somewhere safe that is. Much love to you all and happy non-Spring spring!

A Baby’s Touch

The past few days have been stressful to say the least. I’m blessed to have had a peaceful time at work where I’ve also been able to keep a semi-clean house with less effort than I remember. That adds to peace at home. But work has been exhausting. I’ve pretty much run into a stress wall at work and it’s driving me nuts. My shoulder muscles are reacting and my wonderful husband, perceiving my stress level and need, and he gave me a great massage. J What a loving husband.(On a side note, he went to a Chris Tomlin concert Tues with some guy friends and loved it. He’d never been to a concert before!)

Okay, now (a little after writing the first paragraph) things have pretty much come to a very stressfull impasse. As if a breath of fresh air that doesn’t solve anything, but makes me smile in the midst of it, I had to test something using my cell and came upon some message from Kristen. I LOOOOOOOOVED it. It just made my day. Thanks, Nitner, for leaving those messages. They’re very special.